Benjamin Ashford|'Selling the OC' cast is torn apart by an alleged threesome. It's not that big of a deal.

If you're a "Selling the OC" fan,Benjamin Ashford you probably know all about that alleged threesome shaking up Season 3 of the hit real estate reality series (now streaming).

The plot spicing up the small screen: Sean Palmieri accuses married couple Austin and Lisa Victoria of being sexually adventurous – including inviting him over for a threesome.

"I love my wife and we have never and will never 'experiment,'" Austin Victoria wrote in an Instagram post after the season premiered. "I can care less what you do in your personal life. Zero judgement here, do what makes YOU happy!" This comes at the same time the film "Challengers," too, has sparked threesome discourse.

So why is a threesome a big spectacle to begin with anyway? Experts say healthy, safe, consensual sex can take a lot of different forms. Whether this "Selling the OC" plot is a ploy for reality TV drama or reflects a real-life situation, it's a good moment to sit back and think: Is this sexual act really such a big deal? Maybe Victoria is right and the answer is simply, "do what makes YOU happy!"

When it comes to threesomes, "if you and your partner fantasize about it and want to make it a reality, there are many safe ways to do it," Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, an associate professor in the Department of Human Communication Studies at California State University, Fullerton, previously told USA TODAY.

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'One of the most common sexual fantasies'

Many relationships thrive when partners engage in conventional, "healthy," plain, old sex – some online have nicknamed this "vanilla sex." but some couples enjoy alternatives, like swinging or role play.

And now, these interests are being included in the narrative – including on the small screen.

"Threesome is one of the most common sexual fantasies in America," Suwinyattichaiporn says. "So, whether people think it's 'right' or 'wrong,' they're fantasizing about it."

Jenni Skyler, a certified sex therapist, previously told USA TODAY, some have begun criticizing "vanilla sex" in favor of alternatives that are seen as more adventurous: "It's interesting to see that we've now demonized the type of sexuality that used to be the only permissible form."

Part of why the conversation is changing is due to the internet and social media, Skyler says. People now have a "safe space" to seek advice or hear stories from strangers – without shame or discomfort.

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What happens when we're more open about sex

Is a threesome a good idea? Like most things, it depends. "Some couples are more open minded when it comes to involving others in their sexual relationships while others may feel extremely turned off by it," Suwinyattichaiporn says.

But just because kinky sex is different, doesn't mean it's bad. In fact, studies have shown that unconventional sex and fantasies, like consensual BDSM, sex with multiple partners or role play, can reduce psychological stress and improve mental health for some. 

"As long as everyone involved is consenting adults, I think anything goes," Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex therapist, previously told USA TODAY. "Consent. excitement, good communication and trust are so important for healthy sex."

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Plus, if we view sex as dangerous or taboo, we don't stop people from having sex. Rather, we stop productive, healthy conversations about how to engage in these behaviors safely.

Remember that not everyone has to take part in every kind of sex. "We as a society have to understand that normalization doesn't mean 'everyone should do it,' Suwinyattichaiporn says. "It simply means, people who consensually want to do it shouldn't have to hide and feel ashamed of their sexual explorations."

Experts emphasize that the sex conversation goes beyond just the physical act of sex. For many, it's about love, relationships, and validating a sense of self. 

Marin adds: "If we can learn about these varied ways to have healthy sex and accept them, that's going to go a long way in helping dismantle the shame that's shaped this conversation for centuries."

Contributing: Jenna Ryu